Gentleness

John 8:1-11

8 Jesus returned to the Mount of Olives, 2 but early the next morning he was back again at the Temple. A crowd soon gathered, and he sat down and taught them. 3 As he was speaking, the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. They put her in front of the crowd.

(click on picture to the right to hear the audio as well)

4 “Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say? 6 They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger. 7 They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” 8 Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust. 9 When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. 10 Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”

11 “No, Lord,” she said.

And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”

Click here to see the scene from the The Bible Mini Series

What a beautiful picture of Jesus’ gentleness.

By law the woman deserved to be stoned. He said to them, “whoever has never sinned throw the first stone!” Jesus could have thrown the first stone! He had never sinned.

According to Jewish law she deserved to be condemned. She deserved to be destroyed. She deserved to be punished. The people watching Jesus knew that. Instead of the woman experiencing the wrath of God and being punished for her sin – Jesus says, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?” “Neither do I, Go and sin no more.”

Jesus didn’t come to condemn the world – he came to save it!

Jesus didn’t come to destroy life – he came to give life.

Jesus didn’t come to punish people – he came to give people purpose.

Because Jesus did these kind of things – He has been viewed as weak, soft, and spineless.

If we take an honest look at our heart, we want people to be punished for their sin. We say things like, “where’s a cop when we need them?” People deserve to be punished. They deserve to experience the wrath of God. We believe some kind of harm should happen to evil people. When something does happen we say, “they got what they deserved.”

But Jesus was strength under control. He was calm and peaceful when surrounded by a heated atmosphere. He had a soothing effect on those who got angry and other wise beside themselves. He possessed a tact and gracious courtesy that caused others to regain their confidence and dignity.

Let’s take a look at gentleness is not …..

Gentleness is never a false modesty, a self-depreciation, or a spineless refusal to stand for anything. Gentleness is never a cowardly retreat from reality, which substitutes a passive selfishness for real gentleness and avoids trouble in ways that allow even greater trouble to develop. Neither is it a false humility that refuses to recognize God has given us talents and abilities or that refuses to use them for His glory.

Gentleness is …..

A power under control that is  used to impact and influence the lives of others.

Responding in a gentle way throws people off. When people get angry with you and you don’t get angry back they don’t know what to do. When someone does something to you and you don’t respond. They eventually stop.

I remember at a football game in Sidney, OH (where we lived for 17 years) – a guy was cussing left and right and calling the refs name that the ref couldn’t hear but my kids could hear.

I calmly turned around and asked him to stop because I didn’t think my kids needed to hear those words at their age. He went off on me. I responded in a calm way said, “sir, it is only a high school football game.”  Then he went off on me again.  He went on saying harsher things.

I didn’t move –  I stayed there. I didn’t say another word to him. At the end of the game, he came up to me an apologized for his poor behavior and apologized to my kids for the words he used.

Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer deflects anger,

    but harsh words make tempers flare.

What if I would have responded with harsh words? If would have been a battle of wit and words I would have sliced and diced him. If it had been a battle of fist and fighting I would had been lying in the hospital. The gentle answer deflected his anger and produced an apology. We both grew up that night.

Aristotle (a really smart Greek philosopher) describes gentleness as, ”a halfway  between excessive anger and indifference.” He felt the gentle person could be angry at the right time and submissive at the right time.

One historical figure that I admire because he demonstrated such gentleness during a trying time in our country history was  Abraham Lincoln. Abe was known as “gentle Abe” and honest Abe.

He was calm and peaceful during one of the most trying times in America’s history. He had a soothing effect on people when they met him. He had a strength that was under control. He was viewed as soft, spineless, and weak. He wasn’t Jesus but he gives us a picture a man who used his power to impact and influence both the people of the north and the people of the south.

One historian called him “hard as rock and soft as the drifting fog.”

His personal secretary and subsequent biographer John Hay wrote of Lincoln, “One of the most tender and compassionate of men, he was forced to give orders that cost thousands of lives…the awful responsibility resting upon him as the protector of an imperiled republic kept him true to his duty, but could not make him unmindful of the intimate details of that vast sum of human misery involved in a civil war.”

He was especially famous for his pardons.  “No man holding in his hands the key of life and death ever pardoned so many offenders, and so easily,” said Indiana Congressman Schuyler Colfax. He was so famous for pardons that one general claimed the only way to avoid a Lincoln pardon was to shoot the guy first.

How do you get gentleness?

1. Study the life of Jesus.

“Learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart” (Matt.11:29).

What do we learn from Jesus in this story?

• Don’t crush the wounded.

This woman had been caught in the act of adultery and according to the law she deserved to be stoned. No one knows her background and there are number of reasons why women choose to be prostitutes. I am not going to pretend I know why she chose this lifestyle. I do know that women were treated as second class citizens. I do know that women were seen as objects. I am guessing she lost hope. I am guessing she lost respect for herself.

She was wounded. Jesus knew that. Jesus didn’t point out her sin. Jesus didn’t see her as a second class citizen. Jesus simply loved her and forgave her. He didn’t view her as a second class citizen He loved her. He didn’t view her as an object. He loved her. Jesus knew her story and he showed compassion and gave her hope. He loved her when no one else would love her. Jesus will never crush anyone.

Isaiah 42:3a

He will not crush the weakest reed or put out a flickering candle.

Every person you see has been wounded. They have been wounded either physically, emotionally, or psychologically. All of us in here have been wounded. Every person has a story if we would just sit down and listen to it. Some of us have been crushed and we’ve gone to God and asked, “why?” There is a reason we act the way we do. It would explain who they are and why they are the way they are. We all have flaws and fall short of the glory of God.

There was a beautiful example of gentleness this past week in Atlanta, Georgia. If you watch CNN you are probably familiar with the story. Antoinette Tuff saved 500 elementary students lives by her gentleness with a man who came in with 500 rounds of ammunition. Listen to what she says to this would be killer (just click on the pick)

Do you here the gentleness in her voice? She said, “Baby, we ain’t going to hate you. We are going love you. You are doing the right thing by giving up. ” In the conversation she treated him with dignity and respect.

2. Practice it – Be a living example

In Ephesians 4:2 Paul is urging us to live a life worthy of the calling we have received, he calls on us to be “completely humble and gentle.”  We are to be free from self-exaltation and fully submitted to the will of God both in our relation to Him and in our relationships with others.

Take a day and don’t talk about yourself. Look to the interest of others. Be a living example.

In Colossians 3:12, Paul urges us “as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved,” to clothe ourselves “with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.” This shows that the fruit of the Spirit needs our cooperation for its development.

Take a day and put on gentleness.

• Be gentle in your responses to people. Especially in times of conflict.
• Be gentle in  your actions towards people.
• Be gentle with your kids when they mess up.
• Be gentle with your spouse when they aren’t acting the way you want to them to act or do what you want them to do.

In 2 Timothy 2:25, Paul tells the Lord’s servant that those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will give them a change of heart, leading them to the knowledge of the truth. Gently instruct others. You can’t change the way people think but our gentleness (gentle response, gentle words)  gives God a chance to change their heart. Leading them to truth.

In Titus 3:2, Paul instructs Titus to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable (that is, not quarrelsome), to be considerate, and to show true humble gentleness toward everyone. It includes the idea of springing to the help of those in need, yet keeping our own feelings under control.

• Be ready to do good.
• Don’t slander anyone.
• Be peaceable (don’t create quarrels)
• Be gentle towards everyone.

Finally, in 1 Peter 3:15,16, we are told to be prepared to answer everyone who asks us to give the reason for the hope we have. But we are to do this “with gentleness and respect.”

We can’t manufacture gentleness. It is something that has to be learned and practiced. We need to be taught how to be gentle. Every frustration. Every impatient moment. Every conflict you experience is an opportunity to practice gentleness.

When are gentle with others it gives God the opportunity to change their heart.

God needs gentle people.