The Next Great Generation

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. The husband had been suffering with an illness for some time. After the examination, as they waited in the waiting room the doctor came back out and asked the wife if he could speak to her alone in his office to talk about her husband condition. He had been suffering from a rare disease for some time and because it was accompanied by acute stress. His life was really in jeopardy. He called her in and he said, “I have some difficult news to tell you. Unless you make some significant changes in the way you interact with your husband he’s probably not going to make it.  Of course, that upset her and she began to cry and she asked, ‘What can I do?’ The doctor told her, ‘let me give you somethings you could do over the next few months that could address his condition.'”
“First of all, in the morning when he comes down its very, very important that you keep his life stress free. So, you need to be made up in the morning and dressed and looking as best you can. Greet him with a smile as he comes down the stairs. Always have a nice full breakfast fixed for him. Ask him what his day is about and encourage him and tell him he can make it. Then we he comes home at the end of the day, you need to be nice to him, never speaking of your problems to him but always be willing to listen to his. Always be available to him. And because stress in one of the major things manifesting this illness, you need to be available to him all times sexually.” She listened intently. After it was over they got in the car and started on the way home. As they were driving home the husband turned to her and asked. ‘What did the doctor say to you?’ And tenderly she looked at him and said, “you’re going to die.”

Real manhood is dying. It has been dying a slow death for the last number of decades. We seem to be producing a bunch of boys who never give up their boyish ways, their boyish thinking, and their boyish actions. It is true that boys will be boys. But, as I Corinthians 13 taught us a few blog entries ago there comes a point in a man’s life that we must give up our boyish thinking and reasoning. Vs. 11 says, “11 When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things.” Many men are still thinking and reasoning like a child. Men are refusing to grow up and take the spiritual leadership in the life of their family.

This past month I got called to be a part of a team of pastors and community leaders to address the issues of reconciliation within our city. They asked the question “what can the church do to make Marion a better place to live.” Realizing I wasn’t the smartest kid on this block, there were a couple of guys with masters degrees, a couple of missionaries from Africa, and a few other ministry leaders, and me. It was one of those things where I couldn’t figure out why I was invited to be part of such a group. It was an honor and I wanted to represent our church well. When asked, “what is your dream for Marion”, no one was willing to go first. Being the brave soul that I am, I responded, “my dream for Marion is for people to know Christ.” As I listened to others share, I began to think I really missed the question. Then we were asked a second question, “What are some of the obstacles for this dream to become reality?” I was smarter this time and didn’t answer first. When it finally came to me, I answered, “Men not being men. Men not leading in their homes. Men not taking the initiative in the society in which we live.” By the reaction of  the group, I realized that I was hitting the nail on the head.

This is not the first time this happened (lack of men leading). Back in the time of Isaiah, the nation of Israel experienced the same thing. Because of Israel’s rebellion, they turned away from God. They didn’t think they needed God anymore and they decided to go their own independent way. God brings a judgment through this prophet. He said through this prophet, “because you have ignored me, because you don’t think you need my instruction, and my understanding. I am going to take away from you real men.” As Isaiah pronounces this judgement he begins to describe what that society will look like without real men.

Isaiah 3

The Lord, the LORD of Heaven’s Armies,
will take away from Jerusalem and Judah
everything they depend on:
every bit of bread
and every drop of water,
2 all their heroes and soldiers,
judges and prophets,
fortune-tellers and elders,
3 army officers and high officials,
advisers, skilled sorcerers, and astrologers.
4 I will make boys their leaders,
and toddlers their rulers.
5 People will oppress each other—
man against man,
neighbor against neighbor.
Young people will insult their elders,
and vulgar people will sneer at the honorable.
6 In those days a man will say to his brother,
“Since you have a coat, you be our leader!
Take charge of this heap of ruins!”
7 But he will reply,
“No! I can’t help.
I don’t have any extra food or clothes.
Don’t put me in charge!”
8 For Jerusalem will stumble,
and Judah will fall,
because they speak out against the LORD and refuse to obey him.
They provoke him to his face.
9 The very look on their faces gives them away.
They display their sin like the people of Sodom
and don’t even try to hide it.
They are doomed!
They have brought destruction upon themselves.
10 Tell the godly that all will be well for them.
They will enjoy the rich reward they have earned!
11 But the wicked are doomed,
for they will get exactly what they deserve.
12 Childish leaders oppress my people,
and women rule over them.
O my people, your leaders mislead you;
they send you down the wrong road.

Let me simplify this passage of scripture:

As men go, so goes the life of the society. (Dr. Robert Lewis)

I think he’s right. The statistics and the physical evidence proves it. More and more kids are fatherless – over 25 million kids are without a dad. This doesn’t count the number of dads that are home but still not there. Men are continuing to refuse to step up in the life of their family and establish boundaries for their home. Men have been refusing to step up and take responsibility for their action. Godly Men have been refusing to take the initiative when it comes to being the spiritual leaders in their home.  Because of this, women are being forced to do things they shouldn’t have to do. They do it because they see a need and they step up and meet it. Read the papers, internet, or whatever type of media that keeps you informed and I think you would agree, “as men go, so goes the life of the society.”

What can we do to change the tide?

1. Become like Jesus. 

You don’t have to be the savior of the world. You don’t have to die on the cross. You don’t have walk in his sandals. That is impossible to do. You “simply” live out Luke 9:23:

Then he said to the crowd, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me.

2. Turn from your selfish ways

Like Jesus – We must die. Which means we are to die to those things that keep us from being the men God has called us to be.

• Die to having our own way.
• Die to boyish reasoning.
• Die to our fears of leading boldly.

As I have been reflecting about my dad this past month, I discovered some things about him when my family was cleaning out the house I grew up in to get ready to sell.  We discovered a Bible that the Army distributed to him. In the Bible, he had written down every place had been in WWII and the date he was there. Of course his name was in it just in case he was shot and killed. I learned that my dad was at the battle at Normandy. A lot of guys on died there.

As I was pondering on this news I just learned,  I realized that he was willing to die for the freedom for people he didn’t even know. Facing death or the threat of death forces you to grow up pretty fast. It forces you to think about what’s really important. It forces you to step up and get your priorities in order.  I learned that he was willing to die for a greater cause. That greater cause was protecting the freedoms  you and I have in this great nation. In Tom Brokaw’s book, The Greatest Generation,  he discovered with almost all these men that came back  that they went from investing their lives in the battle field to investing their lives in their communities. In other words, they continued to invest themselves in a greater cause.

We don’t have to die a physical death to become like Jesus. But we are to die to those things that keep us from being the men God has called us to be. Like Jesus and the generation before us  we are to give ourselves away to a greater cause.
That cause is:

• Loving our wives the way they deserved to be loved
• Introducing our kids to the things of faith.
• Being the men that God has created us to be.

Just remember, no dad is perfect but we are called to impact the life of our wife, kids, and community.

3. Like Jesus – we are to take up or cross daily.

Mom’s take up their cross daily.  They sacrifice something everyday for their children. It is not a have to but out of love for theirs kids, their well-being, and their future. They give sacrificially. Soldiers in the midst of war take up their cross daily. They sacrifice something every day for our country.  It is not a have to but out of love for their country, our well-being, and it’s future. They give sacrificially. School teachers in the midst of the school year take up their cross daily. They sacrifice something every day dealing with everybody else’s snot – nosed munchkins. Dealing with parents who think their child is the only smart one in the class. What a thankless job. It is not a have to but of their love for teaching and impacting the next generation, their well-being, and their future.

Take up our cross daily = we are to sacrifice something daily to benefit others not because we have to but because we get to.    – Tom South

Men, We are to take up our cross daily. We are to sacrifice something daily for our family.  It is not a have to but out love for our families, their well-being, and their future. You give sacrificially. Jesus, being our perfect example,willingly sacrificed his life for our well-being. So we could be set free and live in real freedom.

4. We are to follow Him

Which means we are to  (like Him)

• Be watchful
• Stand firm in the faith
• Act like men
• Be strong
• Let all you do be done in love (I Corinthians 16:13-14)

Like Jesus (Philippians 2) , Do not think of yourself equal to God. Empty yourself and become a servant to your family, your church, and your community.

Philippians 2:6-8 – Though he was God,
he did not think of equality with God
as something to cling to.
7 Instead, he gave up his divine privileges;
he took the humble position of a slave
and was born as a human being.
When he appeared in human form,
8 he humbled himself in obedience to God
and died a criminal’s death on a cross.

I saw a beautiful picture of a man emptying himself and becoming a servant of his bride to be. I met with the potential bride and groom for several weeks. I had challenged him to do several things. In our time together I challenged him (in front of her), to stop everything he was doing and pray for her when he saw her stressing out.  On the night of their wedding rehearsal. She was stressing out. As I watched from a distance, I saw him grab  her hand, lead her to the altar, and pray for her. He emptied himself. He knew there was nothing else he could do. He chose to serve her rather than chastise her.

James McDonald reminds men,

We are not women

We are not animals.

We are men, created in the image of God, called to be like Jesus, and lead like Jesus.

This is not an easy thing to do.

Men,

• Turn your face toward God
• Seek first the kingdom of God
• Be a part of something much greater

If we don’t turn from our selfish ways, if we don’t take our cross daily, if we don’t empty ourselves and get on our knees and pray for those we love …..

Well …..

As men go, so goes the society.