Some things this pastor needs to confess …..

When I was growing up – I learned about guilt the hard way! By experiencing it!

Most of the time we only experience real guilt when we get caught. In my elementary days I used to steal money from my brothers and sisters. I would only steal what I needed to get some candy at the pink store. I never got caught …. I never felt guilt ……. until a few years ago all my brothers and sister had a confession time – we all confessed that we stole from each other.

In my preteens, when my mom and dad would leave us boys at home, we would play full contact WWF. We would totally ruin the living room. Somebody usually got hurt and somebody usually broke something. We would all point fingers at each other – but I never got in trouble for this either (yes, I am the baby of the family) … my older brothers took the hit.

In my older teen years, I got caught kissing my girlfriend in the choir room at church in the dark. This time I got caught. But I never got caught there again. Only when I got caught …. did I ever feel guilty. Only in the last instance was I not able to cast the blame on someone else.

We have two reactions when we get caught and know we are guilty. We either blame the other person or go run and hide. This little video will prove my point — video: kids getting caught.

All of these kids got caught red-handed! They were guilty! But none of them wanted to admit it. A couple of them ran away crying, one claimed he didn’t see his sister mark up his face with a marker. This was good guilt – these kids were guilty.

In the last blog entry we learned that scriptures point out the things we need to feel guilty about. We learned that if it isn’t in the Bible and people say it is wrong that is called legalism. It’s amazing to me what the what the church used to make people feel guilty over. Things like dancing, playing with cards, playing saxophone, reading certain books, going to movies …. And so much more. I don’t think it was intentional … I just think many thought doing those things led to sinful behavior. We have sensed learned and matured as a church to realize that none of those things led to sinful behavior. Nevertheless, this kind of thing produced a bad guilt which the Enemy can use to destroy people’s view of God. The Enemy wants to destroy that relationship. The Scriptures do help to distinguish between the things we need to feel guilty about and the things we don’t need to be feeling guilt about.

In the last entry I also introduced two questions that you could ask to do a self-diagnosis:

1. Why are you feeling guilty?
2. Is what you did wrong and sinful according to God’s word?

The answers to these questions might not always be clear-cut, but these two questions will help you begin the process of discerning between good guilt and bad guilt.

What do you do when you ask those questions and you really are guilty?

You are in elite company! Listen to these words from the Apostle Paul. He was an important messenger from God. He was like the “Billy Graham” of his day. He was handpicked by Jesus to be one of the leaders of the early church. He also wrote most the New Testament and was probably the greatest missionary whoever lived.

Look at what he said in Romans 7:14-15, 18-19

14 So the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. 15 I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.

18 And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. 19 I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway.

This raises the question that when we do ask those self-diagnosing questions and we do check the scriptures and we discover we are guilty as charged, “What do you?”  Paul is admitting that, “I am guilty as charged!”

If you don’t anything about this kind of guilt – it will have the same effects on you as bad guilt. Without dealing with it,  it could harden your heart toward that particular sin. In other words you say – “if it doesn’t harm anybody else then it ok”, “If I don’t get caught then it must be okay”,  and other kind of harden-heart rationale.  It also moves you away from God, you can even say, you are putting yourself in the place of God. Neither one of these results are good.

The Enemy can use unconfessed good guilt to destroy you as well.

Paul struggled– he wanted to do what was right but ended up many times doing what he didn’t want to do or as he put it, “doing things he hated.” It’s a real spiritual battle that we still battle today. Guilt was a constant emotion that Paul had to deal with it. I, personally, don’t know of any Christ follower who doesn’t have these kind of battles.

Our natural response, as we learn from these kids (the video) who got caught, is to hide or blame others. This is has been the natural response of humanity since the beginning of time. Look at this passage, Genesis 3:6-13:

6 The woman was convinced. She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. So she took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too. 7 At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves.
8 When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man and his wife heard the LORD God walking about in the garden. So they hid from the LORD God among the trees. 9 Then the LORD God called to the man, “Where are you?”
10 He replied, “I heard you walking in the garden, so I hid. I was afraid because I was naked.”
11 “Who told you that you were naked?” the LORD God asked. “Have you eaten from the tree whose fruit I commanded you not to eat?”
12 The man replied, “It was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit, and I ate it.”
13 Then the LORD God asked the woman, “What have you done?”
“The serpent deceived me,” she replied. “That’s why I ate it.”

What was the first then they did? They discovered their nakedness and covered themselves.  When God came looking for them, they went and hid. When God “found” them, he asked the man “have you eaten from the tree who fruit I commanded you not to eat?” Being the macho man he was,  his response is,  “it was the woman who gave me the fruit and I ate it.” Then God turns to the woman, “What have you done?” Her response was, “the serpent deceived me.” For those of you who grew up in the 70’s and remember Flip Wilson the comedian – he famously said, “The devil made me do it.”

Like Adam and Eve, who were the very first “messer-uppers” on planet earth, there are three natural responses that we tend to have when we mess up and get caught.

• Our first natural response is to run away from God.

We can’t physically run away from God. God is everywhere! But spiritually we can. We can block out his voice. Drown out the good guilt. Harden our hearts toward God. We can leave the church and start our own personal religion of worshiping ourselves. We run away in our mind. We run away from his promises. We don’t want him loving us unconditionally any more. We run away from everything we know is true about God.

The Enemy will do anything to convince you, “you don’t need God in your life.” The Enemy will do anything to try to twist God promises and deceive you that you are really in control. He tried to do that with Jesus when was in the desert being tempted by the Enemy.

We think if we “run away” God will never find us. The truth is you never can honestly “run away” from God. He knows where you are at – he just wants you to acknowledge you know where you are at by asking  you, “Where are you?”

I had a couple of married friends, who had beautiful wives,  who were in ministry get caught taking their relationship with teenage a teenage girl a  little too far. Both of them have walked away from God, the church, and their families.

Our second natural response is to hide.

We cannot physically hide from God. We think we can because we think we can.  But we spend a lot of time and energy trying.

When my kids were little we used to play hide and seek in the house. My kids (when they were toddlers) were terrible at this game. When they hid, they would lie in the middle of the floor, under a blanket, with their feet sticking out. Why did they make is so easy? They wanted to be found! They didn’t want to stay hidden for long.

We do something similar in our relationship with God. We play hide and seek thinking we will win the game, but our feet our sticking out. God knows exactly where you are.

If you ever wonder why you are so spiritually tired or you are burned out on religion it’s because we spend a lot of time and energy on hiding. Personal revivals begin only when we stop hiding.

God knew exactly where Adam and Eve were in the garden.  God could have struck them dead but He thought the relationship was worth saving and wanted to draw them out.

But they wanted to stay hidden:

• from God
• From the truth
• From themselves

They messed up and they knew it. They did the thing that they knew was wrong to do. What Adam and Eve were experiencing we now call shame. When he asked Adam “why?”,  Adam’s response was “I was afraid because I knew I was naked.” What Adam is saying in modern-day language, “I am ashamed of what I did.”
Shame is a tool the Enemy uses to keep us “hidden” from God.  Shame is the tool the Enemy uses to convince us to run away from God. Shame is the tool the Enemy uses to convince us that “God could not possibly love me after what I have done.”  Shame keeps us hidden and causes us to pray that prayer, “don’t look at me God! Don’t see me God!” Please don’t find me …. I don’t want to be exposed.” It’s a prayer that doesn’t help us at all. Shame keeps us from admitting the truth …. And forces us to live in a lie. 

If you were living in the 90’s you might remember this back from 1998.
(Bill Clinton addresses the country, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman”). I believe that Monica Lewinsky would give a different report.

• Our third natural response is to blame others.

When we are caught and we feel guilty, not only can we run away from God, or try to hide, we can blame others for shortcomings.

Let’s go back to the story in Genesis 3. When God asked Adam, “Did you do what I told you not to do?” What was his response?  It wasn’t “yes” or “no”. It wasn’t “maybe” or possibly”. It wasn’t even “tree? What tree?”. He instantly said, “it’s her fault!” “She gave it to me”. And then if that wasn’t enough do you notice what he really said? He adds, “The woman YOU put here with me.”

Not only was it Eve’s fault but it was also God’s fault that he put his teeth into an apple that was handed to him by Eve. Technically Adam was right. After all, God did create the apple and actually God did create Eve.

This is part of that natural response. We find all kinds of reasons to blame others for our faults, in the end (technically speaking)  it’s not really our fault at all.

Early in my marriage I was a master at this.
• I would blame my ignorance for my faults
• I would blame my kids for my faults
• I would blame my wife for my faults
• I would blame the situation for my faults
• I would blame whoever was around me for my faults.

Eve isn’t any less guilty. She blamed it on the snake for deceiving her.
I counseled a couple of young marrieds a number of years ago – they both went through similar circumstances. In both cases, their biggest obstacle was the husband blamed everything on the wife and the wife blamed everything on the husband. In both situations, neither one of them wanted to take responsibility for their own faults. Each couple thought it was their spouses fault for them being in the situation they were in. Both of their marriages ended in divorce.

When we blame others – we think it takes us off the hook and makes us the victim. Eve did hand it to him but Adam TOOK it and TOOK a bite. They both were guilty – and they were trying to blame the other person for what they did wrong.

What does God want from us when we get caught and we experience the good and appropriate feelings of guilt? I am convinced that many people don’t do anything about those things in the list I shared in the last blog entry until we get called out on it from a friend or we get caught in the act.

First of all, God wants us to run TO Him.  Our natural response is to run from Him.

When David did have sexual relations with that woman called Bathsheba. He was also guilty of assassinating her husband, lying, stealing, coveting, ….. he had a long sinful rap sheet for his little fling with Bathsheba. When he was called out on it …. David didn’t run from God ….. He ran to Him. He doesn’t mention his sin at all in Psalm 51 – what he is afraid of in this Psalm is losing the presence of God in his life. To make this simple – he wanted the presence of God more than he wanted Bathsheba.

God wants us to run to Him when we mess up or when we sin. After Paul writes in Romans 7 about doing what he hates to do and not doing what he should do, in Romans 8 He reminds us that nothing can separate us from the love of God.

Secondly, God wants us to confess and repent. Our natural response is hide and blame others. I John 1:9 tells us,

9 But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.

A prayer of confession is saying, “God here is the truth about me. I’m a sinner. I’ve messed up. This is something I can’t hide from, and it’s nothing I can blame anyone else for. I have rebelled against you. “I lusted, I lied, I cheated, I stole, I gave into pride, I slandered, I gossiped, I ….. just fill in the blank.
This is what God wants!

It’s tempting to be a runner, hider and a blamer, what God wants us to know is that this good guilt can lead to something else. Something better.

WE CAN BE FORGIVEN!